Unexpected Exploration

Please note: At the moment I’m mainly posting just to get back into the habit of updating my blog again – not because I have anything particularly important to share.

I don’t get lost.

I very firmly believe that I don’t get lost.

I may end up in locations that I did not plan or expect to end up in, and it sometimes comes as a surprise to me when it happens.

I may end up on places from where I don’t know how to get where I want to be.

It sometimes happens that I think I’m going in one direction when in reality I’m going in another.

It happens, but I don’t get lost, because I don’t feel lost.

I may feel stupid and embarrassed when it happens, and I may stubbornly refuse to believe it until reality finally catches up with me, but even then I don’t feel lost.

Obviously it helps to have a phone with gps and a map, but even without it I wouldn’t feel lost. I may for all intents and purposes be what is technically considered lost. Let’s define lost as follows:

Lost: A person is lost when they’re in a location they’re not familiar with, and when they don’t know how to find their way to a location they are familiar with.

At first I’d say that this happens to me all the time, but then I remember that there’s always backtracking. Much as I hate turning around and going back the way I came, that’s almost always an option.

For the most part, I don’t choose that option.

Like, tonight.

First though, some music:

Tonight, I went out running after dark for the first time in months. I dimly remember having gone on a night time run a few months back, but I can’t say for sure if that was before or after Christmas. It’s been a while. I’ve been looking forward to it.

In my previous post I mentioned how I’d gotten back into running again (jogging, technically – I’m not very fast), and how I’m really enjoying it.

With the shift I’m on it’s not feasible to go running in the late evening though. I have to get up early to go to work, and I try not to skew my sleeping pattern to much over the weekend. Most of my running happens in the afternoon or early evening, when it’s still light outside.

It’s nice, but it’s not quite the same as running at night.

I like to be out in the dark, all alone in the street or on countryside roads. There’s just me and the music. I love running with music. The set I linked above was put together specifically for night-time running.

The music is slow and steady. It’s dark and repetitive, with eerie noises, and with melodies that flow in and out of the soundscape. It starts out sparse and minimal and builds up over time. The music never goes too crazy, but the last thirty minutes are still a lot more energetic than the beginning.

I believe in running as a form of meditation.

It’s a way to set your mind free to wander why your body does something else. You don’t need to think too much when running and your thoughts can find their own paths to wherever they want to go.

Sure, it’s not like “real” meditation, but there are similarities, I think.

The music helps.

So, anyway, tonight I went out running. I had the opportunity and I took it. It was just as good as I remembered.

As I set out, I decided to take an old route I’ve taken before. It’s about ten kilometers, and it’s mostly flat. Easy.

Before I made this decisions, I’d been browsing the map and looking at potential options, bu eventually decided against any of them.

I should have stuck to that.

As I got to an intersection in the road I turned left instead of right. One of the routes I’d been looking at went down that way. I felt fine, and the running was easy, and I figured I could easily handle fifteen kilometers instead of ten. No big deal.

Unfortunately, as I should have learned since many a similar incident in the past, my map memory isn’t perfect. A little bit later on I took a left when I should have kept on Straight.

I realized about a kilometer later when the road didn’t cross over a highway as expected (it went under), and I stopped to check the map on the phone.


Wrong turn taken.

I can’t turn back though. It’s not right. Demoralizing. Weak. Yes, I know it’s stupid, but I’m running for fun and it’s no fun to turn back. It’s like admitting defeat, and I’m too stubborn to do that, so I went on.

I had a vague idea I’d be on my way up towards the airport, which might be a nice good run. Turns out I was sort of wrong about that too. I got to a place from which I knew I could find my way to the airport, but not by a pleasant route. The roads too narrow and with too many hidden bends. It’s not safe for anyone on foot.

So I went a different way. I found a path along the highway which matched one I’d followed another time further along.

There were no lights.

Normally, I don’t have a problem with running in the dark. Even at night there’s enough ambient light from the city that you can see where you’re going. Usually.

Tall trees blocked out most of the light from the surrounding streets, and a high wall separated the path from the highway. I could only just barely tell my feet from the ground where I ran.

Yes, I slowed down quite a bit.

I’d never gone that way before. It was exciting, and a little bit scary – in the right way. After a while, and without incident, I emerged from the trees. There were more lights here, and there was even a lit tunnel under the highway.

The path I ran shared the tunnel with a wide stream.

As I entered, something in the stream splashed. Big enough that I heard it over the music, but fast and small enough that I never saw what it was. It was not a crocodile. There are no crocodiles in Ireland. Don’t be silly. Probably just an other, or a big rat. Definitely not a crocodile.

I think that was the most scary thing that’s happened to me in a while. Unexpected and unseen – a weird noise from outside the shelter of the music.

I’d been toying with the idea of joining up with another trail I knew that I’d be crossing later on, but I decided not to and went straight home instead.

I didn’t make the ten kilometers I’d planned originally, or the fifteen I’d changed my mind to. It doesn’t matter. Nine kilometers isn’t a bad distance, and it feels kind of good to tell myself I could have done twice that distance, and actually believe it.

I could. I’m in a good spot at the moment. Fit enough, and not injured. I could, but taking a wrong turn, and ending up in the wrong place kind of ruined the mood a little bit.

Getting to go out and run at night was great though, and getting to test out my night-time running soundtrack was fun as well. It worked really well, even if I didn’t even get halfway through it.

I’ll try again another time.

Unexpected Exploration

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