Fourth time’s the charm. I tinkered and tweaked and eventually I got it kind of right.
The blurb still needs a bit of polish. The flow isn’t there and it doesn’t read quite as well as I would like, so there’s work to be done. I think I’ve got the right idea and the right structure though. So any changes from here on will be mainly technical.
Hee’s the final (sort of) version:
Emma’s Story is a tale of a faraway kingdom under siege by a fearsome dragon. It’s a tale of a young man who wants to slay the beast, become a hero, and win the heart of the woman he loves.
Only, the kingdom is just a village, and the dragon merely a bear. But Torkel is real, and so is Emma and his love for her. Then again, the story isn’t about him, but her, and she just wants him to stay safe, and to stop trying to be a stupid hero.
And as if that’s not enough, he’s gone and proposed…
He’s her best friend since forever, and it’s time she got settled. She wants children, and a burrow in the village – like her mother and grandmother before her.
It should be easy, but it’s not, for Torkel is a wild one – unreliable and prone to adventure. He may be her best friend since forever, but can he be the husband she needs?
She really needs to make her mind up, and then there’s the dragon – bear.
Emma’s Story is a tale of friendship, demands, and expectations. It’s about doing what you must and about how things don’t always turn out the way they should.
It looks a little bit too long, but I think it might work anyway. The kicker is in the second paragraph where reader expectations are turned around. Hopefully it’ll be enough to make people read the rest.